Do you know what it's like to have the world swirl around you and your roommates flying around in the swirl and your stuck in the middle of it at home?
I do.
In a way it's frustrating. Like I should be out doing fun stuff too. Where is my fun special friend that has special interest in me, one from whom I actually don't mind special attention?
But mostly, it's refreshing. That I'm actually not apart of the drama. That I'm home, alone, being mellow, and that's ok. I don't have my heart running up and down the wall like my roommates.
One is out every night country dancing with a boy while her missionary is preaching to the world; she is scared, and undecided on who to love and when to choose. One has a boy she likes who has a girlfriend, so she writes him dramatic letters to tell him they can no longer be friends. A third just got her heart broken by a man of her dreams, and cries, feeling loneliness throughout the day.
Now I hope you know that I'm not making any judgments on their actions. If I were in any of their shoes I'm sure I would be doing the same things. But I'm not--and for this I breathe a great sigh of relief.
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It is six months later and then some since I've written this. Have I fallen behind because I didn't let the love in? Am I keeping myself from learning and loving, losing yet growing, all because I am too afraid to jump in?
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